Clearly in need of counseling, I did what any contemporary
would do: (no, not seek talk therapy…), I Googled “pet grief.” Here we are, we
inhabitants of the post something or other nothingness, weeping in front of a
computer screen. There you sit, fool with a tool, typing into a search engine
in hopes of mercy, redemption, or relief. Typing “pet grief” into a search
engine in July of 2009, I got to www.petloss.com.
If you are trying this in a office with others around, you’d better turn your
computer’s volume down, because the site plays a song. The song is elegiac, and
really does not help cheer you up. Besides, in my case, if I want a song that
gets to the nitty-gritty of grief, I’ll fire up “Ein Deutsches Requiem”
(Brahms, opus 45). “Then all flesh is as the grass, and all the glory of (cats)
is as the flowering of the grass. But the grass withers and the bloom falls
off.” (Or something to that effect.) Or perhaps “blessed are they that mourn
for they shall be comforted…they that sow tears shall reap joy” would be, for
me, a more cheering sentiment. The humanist nature of this work, not to mention
its beautifully written music, gets right to the heart of what loss of a
companion, friend, parent, lover, (or cat) can mean to a human. Nothing lasts
forever; how long have I got?
The “pet loss grief support” site gets right to the
concept of the “rainbow bridge.” I quote it below, in its entirety:
“Just this side of
heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies
that has been especially close to someone here,
that pet goes to
Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so
they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine,
and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who
had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or
maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams
of days and times gone by.
The animals are
happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very
special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and
play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the
distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he
begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying
him faster and faster.
You have been
spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together
in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your
face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the
trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from
your heart.
Then you cross
Rainbow Bridge together....”
Needless to say, if one is weeping over a lost pet, this
sentiment is not going to cheer you up either. You can debunk it with reason
all you wish, but that will not release you from the misery of a significant
loss. This boundless holding area where our pets reside until we return to get
them ‘over the bridge’ into, presumably, ‘heaven’ works for those with a
certain set of convictions, beliefs, or notions about the nature of reality, of
hyper-realities, and metaphysics. For those of my belief system, for whom this
earth, and nature as it is, with all of its mysteries, not dimmed in the least
by science and learning, is the way things are. It is sufficient unto itself
and worthy of inquiry, but existing apart from all inquiries, and cannot be
assuaged by fantasies. We are already certain that the amorality of other
species is in no way inferior to humanity, and that the morality of humanity is
darkly suspicious. We cannot (or should not) fault humanity for its conceits
and foibles, but when it comes to granting those conceits the license of superiority
of any kind, we blanch. In this version of the tale, it is Amethyst that must
escort me over the bridge, or perhaps
we will share the span. However, it is a bridge to nowhere. Rub those sandy
eyes and there is, as always, no damned bridge. The cat is just as gone as she
was before I learned about the story of the rainbow bridge. Besides, Brahms has
covered this one, too. He sets “death where is thy sting, grave where is thy
victory” with a marvelous stormy scene worthy of his mentor Beethoven. After a
strong cadence to the tonic, C major, it breaks out into a glorious fugue,
setting the text, “Lord, you are worthy to receive glory, honor and power...”
For me, you might as well just go ahead and swap out “Lord” for “Cat.” That
almost works for me, but there are a few necessary caveats.
